[Alex, not wanting people to pry into his own past, had not pried beyond necessity into other's. He felt it all very personal, once he'd gotten over his shock at the idea of variants. That he was one. Mobius had gone to bat for him, pointing out that this Alex Mercer had tried to do right in the end. To clean up the mess he'd made, to save New York from being nuked.
Alex appreciated that Mobius had done that. The man had a strange way of making you trust him. Which is why he'd trusted him, when he'd set Alex to go through analyst duty with Loki. That trust had come to Loki--about whom Alex never pried. The God was part of myths in his world, after all--he figured he already knew enough to know whether or not he wanted to trust the other.
Loki had earned his trust so far. Was it worth his heart, which Alex wasn't always sure he had? Who knows--but for now they could take comfort in each other at least. Friendship was a good start after all.
This time, Alex kissed back. Tilting his head slightly, lips firm against the other man's. Thumb brushing against Loki's shoulder gently where he had his arm around him. A full participant, but almost hesitant. All of his knowledge of how to do this, was second hand after all despite being an intimate part of him after all; it was complicated.]
[Loki could almost sense the hesitation, and reached up to rub a hand along Alex's back, comforting him a little before pulling away from the kiss]
Come on. Perhaps the library isn't the best place for this. ... Shall we go back to your room?
[the rooms at the TVA were hardly anything luxurious: basically 60s strip motel rooms with the barest of amenities. Loki had a feeling full-fledged analysts got better quarters than the ones he and Alex had been afforded: twin bed, nightstand, closet, small table, a bathroom with a toilet, sink, and stand-up shower. all in those same drab browns, tans, and oranges with propaganda posters instead of paintings. he'd immediately taken his down and shoved them in the back of the closet.]
[Alex snorted, half of his mouth quirked up into a smile.]
Less eyes there for certain. I've already checked it for recording bugs too, not that the TVA seems to need it.
[Alex had been a little paranoid at first. Still was in some ways. But he went, keeping his arm around the slightly taller man. Well practiced at ignoring the glares and looks of other TVA people most of the time, this time... He was tense, from nerves and shyness but wasn't showing it. Not beyond showing it to Loki, since his arm was around the man.
His own room was a carbon copy of Loki's, including the removal of the posters. Except that Alex had somehow found a permanent marker. Perhaps he'd snatched one from evidence, or another analyst. However he'd come buy it, his walls were scribbled on. A mish-mash of quotes and sketches personal to Alex, from Nietzsche, to Paradise Lost, to the structure of DNA.]
[he gave an exaggerated roll of his eyes. Alex already knew, at great length to be sure, exactly what Loki thought of all of that, so he didn't elaborate further. he could feel Alex's tension like a too-tight violin string beside him, and nudged their shoulders together in subtle reassurance as they walked. once inside Alex's room, he scanned the walls with interest. he'd been in before, but only long enough for quick glances. pointing to one particular quote, he smiled]
[Alex didn't let anyone into his rooms if he could help it. That he had let Loki in for those quick glances had been part of the early signs of their 'friendship'. Alex turned his head to look at which Quote he was referring to--The mystery of human existence lies not just in staying alive but in finding something to live for.]
Oh, the Dostoevsky one? You familiar with the man?
"Essayist, journalist, etc." Alex said while nodding. "...Can't remember what the quotes from, but it kept sticking my brain so I decided to get it out."
The full quote about 'he who fights monsters and the abyss' by Nietzsche was on his wall, along with 'Which way I fly is hell; myself am hell' by Milton. 'Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before.' by Poe... Detailed scientific drawings of a DNA double-helix, various chemical equations... If one knew how to look, it was a window into Alex's very being.
It beat those damn TVA propaganda posters by a long shot, but was also easy to see why Alex rarely let anyone in his room.
[Whatever reply Alex might've had was stolen by that kiss. Once again that sense of hesitancy--this was not unwelcome. Just...Alex wasn't sure he was doing it right, so to speak. All of his knowledge and experience was second-hand, in a sense.
So perhaps he was also a bit shy. Reaching up he let his hand gently brush Loki's cheek. Softly, then more sure of his touch, thumb stroking softly.]
[he may have been running on second-hand knowledge, but Alex's instincts were solid. Loki leaned into his touch with a soft sigh through his nose and pulled Alex a little closer, though his kiss remained soft and careful. he knew some of Alex's past, knew that things like this hadn't exactly been a regular part of his life. both of them were more used to fighting for their own survival.
he intended to make it clear there was nothing to fight, here, between them.]
[Prying things out of Alex about his past had been difficult, but hopefully Loki found it worthwhile. Doubtless Mobius had shared some stuff as well, and the TVA did have its share of gossips. Alex relaxed slowly when pulled closer. Enjoying the kiss, and that Loki *got* it. This was all new...
Which, well, if they were going to do this he really should tell the demigod some things. Maybe when they next broke for air.]
[not yet, Alex ... not just yet. Loki was enjoying the kiss a bit too much to let it be a short one. he'd been starved for positive contact long before he'd even wound up at the TVA, subsiding on the ways Mobius would touch his shoulder to guide him down the hall, or how Thor had gripped his upper arm when trying to convince him to come home. this was like water in a desert, and he drank his fill, even being so bold as to slide his tongue slowly along Alex's upper lip before pulling away again with a low hum of satisfaction]
[Close as they were, Loki probably felt the shiver go through Alex with that boldness. His lips parted slightly, breathing and moving to lean his forehead against the demigod's own. Much as he could, since Loki had 4" of height on him anyways.]
There are some things you should know about me...if we're going to... Fuck, I don't know. What ARE we going to do or be?
[Loki lets him lean, turning his head to almost nuzzle Alex with his temple like a cat.]
We can take the time to work that out. We've certainly got plenty of it.
[as long as they stay close, like this or in some other manner, Loki figures he could listen to Alex talk for a decent amount of time. eventually his ego might take over again, but right now the closeness is like sliding into a warm bath after a battle]
[The closeness is needed, necessary--Alex isn't pulling away anytime soon. The little nuzzle actually makes him smile.]
Right...okay. SO...I'm not human. Which you probably guessed already. But...I'm also not actually Dr. Alex Mercer.
[Fuck, now how did he explain this?]
So my nexus event was, apparently, that I was supposed to die taking the nuke out to see that they were going to use on New York. I didn't, and survived. But that's because Alex died 3 days earlier. And fell on a vial of the virus he'd helped engineer. And taken as insurance in case they were going to black bag him like they did. He let the virus loose, and they shot him, and he fell on it.
[Loki should be smart enough to piece together what Alex wasn't saying. He leaned a little closer, almost hiding his head.]
I woke up on an autopsy table, with scattered memories, and had to piece everything together.
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carisma_sensei
no subject
Date: 2021-07-23 03:10 am (UTC)Alex appreciated that Mobius had done that. The man had a strange way of making you trust him. Which is why he'd trusted him, when he'd set Alex to go through analyst duty with Loki. That trust had come to Loki--about whom Alex never pried. The God was part of myths in his world, after all--he figured he already knew enough to know whether or not he wanted to trust the other.
Loki had earned his trust so far. Was it worth his heart, which Alex wasn't always sure he had? Who knows--but for now they could take comfort in each other at least. Friendship was a good start after all.
This time, Alex kissed back. Tilting his head slightly, lips firm against the other man's. Thumb brushing against Loki's shoulder gently where he had his arm around him. A full participant, but almost hesitant. All of his knowledge of how to do this, was second hand after all despite being an intimate part of him after all; it was complicated.]
no subject
Date: 2021-07-26 03:03 am (UTC)Come on. Perhaps the library isn't the best place for this. ... Shall we go back to your room?
[the rooms at the TVA were hardly anything luxurious: basically 60s strip motel rooms with the barest of amenities. Loki had a feeling full-fledged analysts got better quarters than the ones he and Alex had been afforded: twin bed, nightstand, closet, small table, a bathroom with a toilet, sink, and stand-up shower. all in those same drab browns, tans, and oranges with propaganda posters instead of paintings. he'd immediately taken his down and shoved them in the back of the closet.]
no subject
Date: 2021-07-26 03:44 am (UTC)Less eyes there for certain. I've already checked it for recording bugs too, not that the TVA seems to need it.
[Alex had been a little paranoid at first. Still was in some ways. But he went, keeping his arm around the slightly taller man. Well practiced at ignoring the glares and looks of other TVA people most of the time, this time... He was tense, from nerves and shyness but wasn't showing it. Not beyond showing it to Loki, since his arm was around the man.
His own room was a carbon copy of Loki's, including the removal of the posters. Except that Alex had somehow found a permanent marker. Perhaps he'd snatched one from evidence, or another analyst. However he'd come buy it, his walls were scribbled on. A mish-mash of quotes and sketches personal to Alex, from Nietzsche, to Paradise Lost, to the structure of DNA.]
no subject
Date: 2021-07-29 01:45 pm (UTC)[he gave an exaggerated roll of his eyes. Alex already knew, at great length to be sure, exactly what Loki thought of all of that, so he didn't elaborate further. he could feel Alex's tension like a too-tight violin string beside him, and nudged their shoulders together in subtle reassurance as they walked. once inside Alex's room, he scanned the walls with interest. he'd been in before, but only long enough for quick glances. pointing to one particular quote, he smiled]
That one's new.
no subject
Date: 2021-07-29 01:53 pm (UTC)Oh, the Dostoevsky one? You familiar with the man?
no subject
Date: 2021-07-29 03:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-07-29 10:47 pm (UTC)The full quote about 'he who fights monsters and the abyss' by Nietzsche was on his wall, along with 'Which way I fly is hell; myself am hell' by Milton. 'Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before.' by Poe... Detailed scientific drawings of a DNA double-helix, various chemical equations... If one knew how to look, it was a window into Alex's very being.
It beat those damn TVA propaganda posters by a long shot, but was also easy to see why Alex rarely let anyone in his room.
no subject
Date: 2021-08-02 02:52 am (UTC)[Loki closed the door behind them, and slipped his arms around Alex once more, resting their foreheads together]
And very intimate of you. For whatever it may be worth, I don't think you're hell.
[and with that, he claims another kiss: a softer one, this time]
no subject
Date: 2021-08-02 02:55 am (UTC)So perhaps he was also a bit shy. Reaching up he let his hand gently brush Loki's cheek. Softly, then more sure of his touch, thumb stroking softly.]
no subject
Date: 2021-08-02 03:04 am (UTC)he intended to make it clear there was nothing to fight, here, between them.]
no subject
Date: 2021-08-02 03:08 am (UTC)Which, well, if they were going to do this he really should tell the demigod some things. Maybe when they next broke for air.]
no subject
Date: 2021-08-03 12:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-08-03 01:01 am (UTC)There are some things you should know about me...if we're going to... Fuck, I don't know. What ARE we going to do or be?
no subject
Date: 2021-08-15 09:55 pm (UTC)We can take the time to work that out. We've certainly got plenty of it.
[as long as they stay close, like this or in some other manner, Loki figures he could listen to Alex talk for a decent amount of time. eventually his ego might take over again, but right now the closeness is like sliding into a warm bath after a battle]
no subject
Date: 2021-08-15 10:09 pm (UTC)Right...okay. SO...I'm not human. Which you probably guessed already. But...I'm also not actually Dr. Alex Mercer.
[Fuck, now how did he explain this?]
So my nexus event was, apparently, that I was supposed to die taking the nuke out to see that they were going to use on New York. I didn't, and survived. But that's because Alex died 3 days earlier. And fell on a vial of the virus he'd helped engineer. And taken as insurance in case they were going to black bag him like they did. He let the virus loose, and they shot him, and he fell on it.
[Loki should be smart enough to piece together what Alex wasn't saying. He leaned a little closer, almost hiding his head.]
I woke up on an autopsy table, with scattered memories, and had to piece everything together.