For Yuna! (Whereishe). Continued Cuteness

[my_belfry_of_fun]

Title:Continued Cuteness
Who:Yuna and Alex Mercer
What:Cuteness in an evolving friendship
Open/Closed:Closed
Additional Details:Originally based on a meme, set in the Explorers setting.

Comments

Re: Nightmares

[lessandmorethanhuman]

"Why?" Why was she sorry, why wouldn't she come to him? Didn't...friends lean on each other when they needed to? Had he missed something?

So honestly puzzled there, and confused, clear in his expression.

Nightmares

[whereishe]

Yuna shrugged. "I don't want to be a bother, you know?" Even as she spoke she knew it sounded silly. If he had thought that she was a bother he would have already told her so. She knew that but still she worried. She wanted to be stronger.

Re: Nightmares

[lessandmorethanhuman]

Alex snorted, a derisive sound she'd heard before that usually meant he thought the other person was being an idiot. "You're not. It's ok." Looking at her candidly, making it clear he didn't think she was. Even if he had, he'd have told her.

"So, what scared you, in your nightmare?" Moving back to the original subject.

Nightmares

[whereishe]

She felt her heart flutter at the sound of his snort. There was something about having someone imply that you were being an idiot that was sort of romantic. Yuna stretched out her legs letting them hang off the side of the bed as she thought back to her dream.

"I was running and men where chasing me. It was Bevelle I'm sure. I was with someone but I don't remember him. I heard his voice but I couldn't understand what he said. We kept running until we hit a dead end. Then were were trapped." Yuna's hand moved to rest over her chest. "We were killed and then I was alone. I felt someone crying and lost in the darkness like they were reaching out to me to shelter them and then I was them.." It sounded more confusing as she gave voice to her nightmare and she wasn't sure how to take it. "It all felt so real."

Re: Nightmares

[lessandmorethanhuman]

Alex was hardly a psychologist, nor was he good at comfort. But...he knew about feeling things, so much that they were real--even though they weren't. Other people's memories that he'd made his own, and then his own death, and first experience with his new 'state' as well.

Those, he could understand. And he could relate enough.

"It wasn't, not for you anyways. But I know it's scary, and it's definitely not pleasant." Keeping his voice quiet, shifting how he sat so one leg was on the floor, the other curled in front of him as he turned to her. "I remember, when...I first woke up, as I am now. I was on an autopsy table, about to be studied. I couldn't remember why I was there, and I couldn't understand at first why the two doctors were terrified of me. They ran, and I couldn't clearly remember what had happened. I just knew I had to get away."

He hadn't told her before, this much about his past. Usually it was all generalities, more on what had happened during the outbreak, not on how he'd started out, before things had gotten bad. This wasn't quite the very beginning, but it also was where it had started.

"I fled, and kept myself in the shadows, and I saw the doctors being questioned by guys in SWAT gear. That is, heavy flexible armor and weapons, with face-coverings." Close enough for her reference, since SWAT likely didn't make sense. "They were shot, and I didn't know why--but I knew it wasn't good. I was spotted, and they shot at me--so I ran, taking hits but not enough to kill me. And I didn't know how or why, but I was able to jump higher than I had before---I cleared the fence around the building. Kept moving, until I was cornered in an alley. One of them found me, as I was leaning against the ground, trying to piece together what had happened, and in pain from being shot. He tried to finish the job."

Still with his voice low, but carefully neutral. No emotion, just telling a story as it had happened. Factual, no hint of how he'd felt about any of it. "Somehow, I didn't die--although he thought I did. It was how I found out that I heal and regenerate. I snuck up behind him, and was able to return the favor of killing him."

Easier to explain that way--no need to go into how that had been his first brush with consuming, how it had restored some of his memories, helped him have a point to start figuring things out from. Maybe some other time, but not now.

Nightmares

[whereishe]

Yuna sat in silence for some time after his story. It was very rare for him to open up so much and she wasn't sure how to respond. He knew that she was happy that he was here, that he hadn't let anyone kill him or given up through his trails but to feel so lost and confused. That was a feeling that she knew though maybe not to the same extent. Her eyes glanced up at his and stayed locked there for a moment. It felt like anytime they were alone together she had the urge to kiss him.

"Were you scared?" He knew that she had experience with corrupt leaders that killed anyone in there way and anyone to keep a secret from being leaked to the world. She could understand that sort of thing happening even if she wished it didn't have too. There were people like that everywhere.

Yuna wanted to reach out, touch him and comfort him but she knew it wouldn't work like that. Maybe it was only to comfort herself? She didn't know for sure so she stayed still on the bed watching Alex as tears once more welled to the corner of her eyes. She wanted to protect him.

Re: Nightmares

[lessandmorethanhuman]

Alex's head tilted, genuinely confused by the tears. "I didn't really have time to be scared. I was definitely confused, but mostly I was angry. I didn't know what had happened, I just knew it had hurt, and I was being hunted."

Reaching out again, even if Alex wasn't very good at comfort, and wasn't fond of touching--Yuna was crying. Or about to. And he didn't understand quite why, even as he reached out to stroke her hair by her cheek. "It's over, a while ago, and I'm really alright. I...told you, mostly so you'd understand that yes, I know how scary your nightmare must've seemed."

Nightmares

[whereishe]

She smiled still trying to fight back her own tears. "I knew that you would understand. Maybe that is why I ended up coming to you." Her fingers lightly wipe away at her tears not wanting to let them fall. It wasn't a story that would usually bring her to tears but she was vulnerable.

"I can understand being angry also. I've had experiences when I was to angry to be scared." Yuna very rarely felt scared which was why it was so hard of an emotion for her to handle.

Re: Nightmares

[lessandmorethanhuman]

"It's often posited, and seen, that fear sometimes is covered up by anger. It's easier to deal with anger as an emotion, than to admit one is afraid, or to deal with the sense of vulnerability fear brings."

No judgement, just explaining, as he pulled to sit back, hands at his sides. "I think there are a few here who'd understand, but I also understand not opening up easily." He was definitely quiet, and often a privacy freak.

Nightmares

[whereishe]

Yuna just nodded. "Thank you for opening up to me. I really an honored." A soft smile pulled at her lips as she looked over at Alex.

"I'd like to open up to you also." She wanted him to know everything about her and she wanted to learn so much about him as well.

Re: Nightmares

[lessandmorethanhuman]

Alex gave a one-shouldered shrug, responding to both statements that way. "You weren't already, coming here with your nightmare?" Teasing in the tone, affection, as he didn't mind. "You already know I'm a good listener."

She could open up if she wanted to or not, as he wouldn't push. Alex only ever pushed if it was needed, for those few he'd actually come to have straddle the line between allies and friends. That was how Yuna had started out, before moving into what he would firmly consider the 'friends' category.

Then given her recent admission, which he was still puzzling out in his own mind, she was still in the 'friends' category--he just wasn't sure if there was going to be more.

Nightmares

[whereishe]

Yuna laughed softly before laying backwards on him bed. It felt good to stretch out and have her legs hanging off the edge of his bed.

"Back at home. When I was completing my pilgrimage. There was a man who wanted to use the power of the summoners to destroy everything. He had his sights set on me. I guess I thought I could do something about him." Yuna took a deep breath. "I found out that he killed his father in order to obtain power. When I went to confront him about it he gave me a choice. I could fight him or he would turn himself over if I married him. I went to talk to him and we ended up killing him but.. well, when people die in my world they don't always stay that way. A summoner must send them and I was not given that chance."

"So he got away and came after me again. I was kidnapped and then forced to marry him. I even played at marriage to try and send him but I failed. I guess, long story short is that I was married once. I was 16 at the time. I don't want to be used like that and.. I had been so angry and felt so helpless. I don't want to feel that way again."

She took a deep breath keeping her eyes on the ceiling. "Sorry I guess that was a little bit of a tangent."

Yuna was also angry that he had stolen her first kiss.

Re: Nightmares

[lessandmorethanhuman]

Alex had turned his head, mostly to give her some privacy. Rapidly clear, even if it hadn't been before, that she was less dressed than normal, even under his borrowed hoodie. He nodded, and made a non-committal noise, letting her know he'd heard her.

"No it...sounds like something you needed to get out." Had she told him she was married before? He thought she might have, but he didn't remember. Sometimes he forgot that while she was young, she'd seen and done a lot. She still remained optimistic, most of the time--which wasn't how most of the jaded people he knew, acted.

Quiet, sorting out his thoughts still, before responding. "I'm...still trying to figure out exactly how I feel, sort of, in terms of what you told me. I do know I wouldn't use you. I couldn't...because I know how that feels too. And I agree with you."

Maybe he hadn't been used in the same way, but he'd been betrayed certainly. Used to try and create a 'cure' for himself, ironically--by his ex. Never mind she was under threat from Gentek for her life, she'd still played on his faulty-memory and used, then betrayed him.

Nightmares

[whereishe]

Yuna sat up on her elbows and looked up at Alex letting the hood fall back. A light smile pulled at her lips as her inner strength rose to the surface.

"I trust you."

Even if he did hurt her it would be worth it for the chance that he wouldn't or at least, that was how she thought. She didn't take much notice to her lack of clothing if only because her underwear was still covered by his big hoodie.

Yuna didn't know what to say to him. She wanted him to figure out how he felt but she didn't want to push him. She tried to rise up from the bed but she felt tired.

"You don't have to rush." She was used to waiting. "I will wait for when you figure it out. I think it's worth it." Her smile widened at Alex.

Re: Nightmares

[lessandmorethanhuman]

Glancing at her, and his expression was mostly neutral. Clear that he still didn't think he was worth it, and was kind of still amazed at her optimism. "Just don't want you wasting your time." Mumbled, reaching up and brushing his hair back. He'd done it countless times when covered in his hoodie. Easier to see now, without that covering him.

"Feeling better after your nightmare?"

Nightmares

[whereishe]

Her smile softened. "It isn't a waste of time. I know this." And it was clear by her stare that he wasn't going to convince her otherwise.

"I do feel better but.." She paused. "Is it okay if I sleep here for the night?" Yuna knew that she would be out of his way but she also felt safer knowing that he was watching over her.

Re: Nightmares

[lessandmorethanhuman]

A blink, and Alex's head tilted. Pausing, as he was considering his response. "I guess. I don't really sleep much, and was reading anyways." Moving to stand, and roll his head a bit in a stretch.

Then offering a half-smile. "I do enjoy your company. So make yourself comfy." Moving over to his desk chair after snagging his book. He'd make himself comfy too.

Nightmares

[whereishe]

Yuna shifts in the bed not really making an effort to cover herself. Her arms gather in front of her chest and for a moment she plays with the edge of the sleeves on his hoodie. She took a deep breath taking in his scent as her eyes fluttered close.

There was nothing wrong with asking, right?

"Will you hold me?"

Her words were soft and she kept her eyes closed as she asked. It's true that she wanted to be comforted but she also didn't want to make Alex feel uncomfortable.

Re: Nightmares

[lessandmorethanhuman]

A startled blink, and Alex paused where he was, in resuming his place in the book. Clear he hadn't expected that request. Taking time now, to think, as he considered her.

Several long breaths in and out, heartbeats, and then Alex sighed. "I can't seem to deny you much." Quiet, resigned, but not in a bad tone as he moved. Shifting to sit on the bed, then holding out his arms.

Nightmares

[whereishe]

She smiled happy that he would consider her selfish request. It was okay to be selfish sometimes, was it?

Yuna wrapped her arms around Alex pulling herself close. Her legs fanned out across the bed and she did nothing to cover them. Her head rested on his chest and she nuzzled against him before settling into a comfortable position. She'd rather then lay down but he had given her this much and that alone meant so much to her. She knew how he was with things and she knew how much such an action was worth.

Re: Nightmares

[lessandmorethanhuman]

Alex tensed at first, and then tensed again with the nuzzle. Uncomfortable, because touch wasn't something he really 'did'. Not big on it, but as he'd said--he couldn't seem to deny Yuna. His brain had been trying to figure out why, and added it to the puzzle along with the rest of the recent questions.

Unlike her though, he was willing to move, and lay down. Shifting more fully, without dislodging her, to lay on the bed. Encouraging her to stretch out too, as one arm snagged the blanket and pulled it up to tuck around her.

"I'm...still trying to sort it out. In my head. A lot of this is all still new, and confusing for me. Dealing with people in general is. And I don't have an answer." His voice was quiet, spoken against her hair as she rested under his chin. "I do care about you though, Yuna. Certainly as a friend. I'm just...not sure about more--and I don't want to hurt you."

Admitting some of his puzzlement, and perhaps a bit of vulnerability. He really didn't want to hurt her, and valued the friendship they had. That alone, was rare for him--in the world he'd been in before, he really only could say that it had been him and Dana.

Nightmares

[whereishe]

She pulled him close resting her ankle across his leg as she snuggled towards his warmth. Her skin felt cold even with the presence of the blanket but she knew that she would warm up quickly lying so close to Alex. She could taste his scent as she closed her eyes and rested her head against his muscular chest.

"It's alright if I do get hurt." Her voice was soft as she spoke, her words muffled by his shirt. "I knew that I might. The moment I told you but I think it's worth it. I can't imagine living my life and never knowing what you might have decided. Never taking that chance. We will always be friends. No matter what happens because no matter what you are important to me."

Yuna didn't want him to feel pressure or like he needed to rush through figuring it out. She was good at reading people and dealing with them and she could tell just how thoughtful he has been. That was enough to make her happy to tell him, show him how she felt. She didn't want to push him even though laying like this she wanted to show him again.

Re: Nightmares

[lessandmorethanhuman]

There was a brief moment of quiet, before a faint laugh shook him. Amused, and not unhappy, as he tried to stay relaxed where Yuna was curled against him. "There's a famous quote from my world, part of a longer poem, written by a man named Lord Tennyson. I suspect you'll agree with it, given what you've been through, Yuna."

Alex wasn't sure he agreed with it himself, but then--he was still figuring out a lot of things--not least of which who he wanted to be.

"The short version, and most well known, is this. Better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all."

Nightmares

[whereishe]

Yuna shifted slightly a little excited to hear him laughing. "I think I would agree." Her eyes met his as she snuggled a little closer to his warm form.

"It really is a wonderful feeling." She only hoped that Alex would be able to feel love one day as well. Even if it wasn't with her she wanted him to be happy.

Re: Nightmares

[lessandmorethanhuman]

"I think I have the full thing, in a book...somewhere in the piles." She was welcome to raid his books too, if she wanted. Alex had an active mind, and tried to keep it busy.